March 15, 2009
How To Tell If You’re On A Shitty Date #1.  If you keep looking at your date’s beer hoping to GOD it’s finished.  And not so that you can get her another, but so that you can GO THE FUCK HOME. #2.  If she has absolutely nothing to contribute to the conversation and every time you say anything all she says is, “ok”. #3.  If by the eleventh “ok” the idea of motor-boating her phenomenal rack makes you sick. #4.  She’s fatter in person. #5.  And uglier. #6.  If while she’s talking all you imagine is a swarm of cats writhing around her body and carrying her around chariot style because it’s so ridiculously obvious that she’s a cat lady. I could write more but I won’t.  That was fuckin traumatizing…

How To Tell If You’re On A Shitty Date

#1.  If you keep looking at your date’s beer hoping to GOD it’s finished.  And not so that you can get her another, but so that you can GO THE FUCK HOME.

#2.  If she has absolutely nothing to contribute to the conversation and every time you say anything all she says is, “ok”.

#3.  If by the eleventh “ok” the idea of motor-boating her phenomenal rack makes you sick.

#4.  She’s fatter in person.

#5.  And uglier.

#6.  If while she’s talking all you imagine is a swarm of cats writhing around her body and carrying her around chariot style because it’s so ridiculously obvious that she’s a cat lady.

I could write more but I won’t.  That was fuckin traumatizing…

Comments (View)
blog comments powered by Disqus