October 6, 2009

Angelic

I ended up at a party at a park on Labor Day.  Six beers into the afternoon my brain started thinking the way a brain does after six beers, with my cock.  I dialed my friend from the Friday before and left a quick message to see what she was up to.

The next Saturday morning I woke up, rolled over, looked at my phone and saw a voicemail…from the stripper.

“Hey ******, it’s K****…or Ryan.  Whatever the fuck I told you my name was, um, from F****.  But I just wanted to let you know I got your message and I wasn’t um…fuckin around about…you know…hanging out and shit.  I’d really like to.  I just got caught up this week with a bunch of court dates and…bullshit…um.  But yeah, give me a call.  I mean, I knew it was too late for you to answer…it’s like three in the morning.  But I just meant to call you today and I was so fuckin busy with work and other shit that I didn’t get to early enough.  So I thought I’d leave you a message that you could…wake up to or whatever.  But just give me a call back and uh…we should definitely get together sometime this week.  Have a goodnight.  Bye.”

I’m in love with a stripper.

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